Shoes
I was sent to the store recently to buy new flip flops. I had no idea what shoe size she wore, but she always wore mine. So, that makes her about a size 10 in mens, right? Being clueless and severely ignorant, I asked the bored woman working there to help me pick out a pair of shoes. She obliged, and I happily provided her with shoe sizes, and was able to divulge comments such as, “Wow, I never knew my girlfriend has such big feet.” I’m sure the cashier thought I was dating Bigfoot’s sister. I finally pick out what we both deemed the best flip flops the crappy store carried, and I was on my way, $8 lighter.
After giving my girlfriend her gift, the first thing she said was, “Why the fuck are these shoes so big? Did you buy these for you? These are ugly, why don’t you wear them?” I learned a powerful lesson about women that evening. When a girl wears your shoes, it doesn’t mean she wears your shoe size, so be sure to check shoes she already owns before going shopping. I also learned my girlfriend wears a size 6, and the only way she’ll wear the flip flops now is if I say they are mine.